


You And Me, We're Indelible

by NachoDiablo



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Amnesia, Angst with a Happy Ending, Awkwardness, Established Relationship, Happy Ending, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Memory Loss, Mildly Dubious Consent, Miscommunication, Non-Penetrative Sex, Podfic & Podficced Works, Podfic Available, due to memory issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-18
Updated: 2019-09-18
Packaged: 2020-10-21 09:28:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,465
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20691248
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NachoDiablo/pseuds/NachoDiablo
Summary: Steve loses his memory on a mission and can't remember being anything more than roommates with Sam. Which is inconvenient, seeing as their one year anniversary is in less than a month.





	You And Me, We're Indelible

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Lucifuge5](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lucifuge5/gifts).

> Written for the [Sam Wilson Birthday Bang](https://samwilsonbirthdaybang.tumblr.com), thank you to the mods for all their hard work to spread the Sam love! 
> 
> My partner [Lucifuge5](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lucifuge5) recorded this as a podfic, it’s linked under Inspired Works. Luce also edited the hell out of it and gave invaluable insights. All around A+ experience working with you! <3 <3 <3
> 
> Many thanks to [KombatFather1796](https://archiveofourown.org/users/KombatFather1796) for beta reading and providing extremely helpful feedback. I appreciate all of your input!

“We’ve got a problem.”

Sam steeled his jaw at Tony’s words. On the one hand, they were standing in the hospital wing of Avengers Tower. Of course there were problems. 

But, on the other hand, Tony had just left Steve’s room. Steve was a super soldier. He wasn’t supposed to have  _ problems.  _ At least, not the kind that made Tony’s forehead wrinkle as he looked up at the ceiling to avoid Sam’s gaze.

“Well?” Sam frowned. “Are you gonna tell me what’s wrong, or are you waiting for the ceiling to collapse in on itself and spare you the conversation?”

“Not likely,” Tony scoffed. “This building’s sturdy as a--”

“Tony!”

“Fine, fine!” Tony threw his hands up like Sam was the one being annoying. “It looks like Steve was hit with a pretty powerful wallop of magic.”

This wasn’t news. Sam had been there  _ in person _ when Steve had been accidentally blasted with one of Loki’s spells. Sam had felt the breath leave his body as Steve had dropped to the ground like a sack of potatoes. Luckily Nat and Rhodey were good backup because he’d completely ignored everything around him as he’d rushed over to cradle Steve in his arms.

“He’s awake. He’s fine, he’s ready to go home, he’s just-- hey!” Tony scowled as Sam flipped him off. “Easy there, Cap! If this is how you treat me when I bring you good news, I don’t want to see you when--”

“Tony!” Sam snapped again. “Will you please get it together and tell me what the hell’s going on?”

“Alright!” Tony huffed. “Long story short, Steve’s memory got the  _ be kind, rewind _ treatment.”

A chill ran through Sam’s veins as he did some mental math. “How… how far back are we talking about, exactly?”

“Right around the time Barnes went into cold storage.”

“Oh.” Sam winced. “So he doesn’t… does he…”

Tony shook his head. “He doesn’t remember that you two are an item.”

Shit. That hurt. 

They hadn’t gotten together until about three weeks after they’d returned to New York from Wakanda. It had been a quiet walk through Central Park after one of their usual dinner-and-a-movie nights. Sam had turned to make a comment about how they were acting like they were on some corny date, and Steve had swooped in to kiss him.

Sam smiled to himself as he remembered how earnest Steve had been when he’d taken Sam’s hands after that first kiss and pulled him in for another.

“Also, I told him he’d only missed out on a few weeks.”

“What?!” Sam’s gaze snapped back up to Tony’s face. “What the hell, Stark?”

“It doesn’t matter.” Tony waved a hand. “I talked to Wanda. The magic stuff isn’t permanent. He’ll come out of it soon enough. Maybe even by the end of the day.”

“And that makes lying  _ okay?” _

“It’s the safest option,” Tony hissed. “It was easier to tell him he’d only lost a few weeks. Less time passed, less questions that way.”

“That’s the dumbest shit I ever heard,” Sam said as he rolled his eyes.

“I know! I was under pressure!”

“And that’s the best you could do?”

“It doesn’t matter!” Tony exclaimed. “Didn’t you hear me? Wanda says he’ll be back to normal in a few days, max.”

“You said by the end of the day.”

“I said  _ maybe. _ It’s magic, not science. Just keep him away from calendars for a while and he’ll be fine. The less to explain, the better.”

Sam blew out a breath. “Look, next time will you talk to me first? Especially when it’s about Steve.”

“Next time I’m not saying a damn word.” Tony mimed zipping his lips. “I wouldn’t have this time, either, if I hadn’t gotten unlucky and been in his room when he woke up. That’s what I get for trying to do a good deed and visit the elderly. You know, I never--”

Sam didn’t listen to the rest of Tony’s ramblings as he pushed past him to walk down the hallway to Steve’s room. He stood outside of the doorway and peered inside. Steve was in a clean white undershirt and grey sweatpants, sitting up in his hospital bed and casting a wary eye towards the black Nomad costume that was folded and set neatly on the chair by his bed.

“Knock knock.” Sam cringed at how awkward he sounded, but he didn’t have time to judge himself, not when Steve’s face lit up as he sat up even straighter.

“Hi, Sam.” Steve sounded relieved. “It’s good to see you.”

“Likewise.” It was only a little bit of a lie. It  _ was _ nice to see Steve awake and safe, but hearing  _ Sam _ rather than  _ baby _ was a bit of a letdown.

Steve nodded towards the chair. Sam walked over and moved Steve’s uniform to the table so that he could have a seat. He folded his hands and rested his elbows on his knees, never taking his eyes off of Steve.

“I know Tony lied,” Steve said as he met Sam’s eyes.

Sam cocked an eyebrow. 

“I know there’s something you’re not telling me.” Steve chuckled and shrugged his shoulders. “Do you really expect me to believe that Tony and I hashed things out after Siberia, and now we’re friends? Or that the Accords just magically disappeared? And Tony’s this laid back about it? He’s leaving something out.”

“It wasn’t my idea--”

“I know,” Steve said. “But I  _ also _ know that you’ll tell me if I need to be worried.”

“You don’t,” Sam replied calmly.

Steve’s shoulders relaxed immediately. “Okay then, I trust you.” He wrinkled his nose as his gaze shifted to the uniform on the table. “Can you tell me what that is? Or is telling me going to break the fabric of time and space?”

Sam rolled his eyes and grinned. “Don’t be dramatic. You just lost a… few weeks, that’s all. And it’s not even permanent.”

“Are you going to make up some bullshit story to trick me until I get my memory back?” Steve asked with a smirk.

“I’ll tell you the truth,” Sam replied. He felt tense, despite his casual tone. “It’s up to you whether I’m bullshitting or not. That’s your uniform. You, uh, just gave up the shield recently. I’m Cap now.”

It was a decision that they’d discussed before leaving Wakanda a year ago, so it was unlikely to be a complete shock. However, Sam was still grateful when Steve breathed out a sigh of relief.

“Oh, good. Been thinking about that for a while. Glad to know we worked it out.” Steve looked again at the uniform folded on the table. “What’s the uniform for, then? Am I still an Avenger?”

“Sometimes. You do other stuff, charity work mostly, but you make a guest appearance every so often when we need you. As Nomad.”

“Nomad…” Steve nodded to himself. “I like it. Much cooler than Captain America. And I bet my costume’s a lot better looking, too,” he added with a grin.

“Guess again,” Sam laughed. “I didn’t keep your tired ass stars and stripes.  _ My _ uniform’s got style. And that’s not even taking into consideration the upgraded stealth suit.”

A faint blush bloomed on Steve’s cheeks. “You-- you wear a stealth suit? That’s really… uh. That’s great.” 

Sam stared at him until Steve averted his gaze. “You okay? Tony says you’re ready to go home, but if you’re not feeling a hundred percent--”

“I’m good,” Steve said a little too quickly. “Wait, do we live together? I remember we were talking about it yesterday. Or, I guess further back than that.”

“Yeah, we do.” Sam made a mental note to text Nat, when Steve wasn’t looking, and ask her to rearrange their apartment a little to make it look less couple-y before they got back.

“Good.” Steve swung his legs over the side of the bed and stood up carefully. He scooped the Nomad uniform into his arms and smiled sweetly at Sam. “Lead the way, roomie.”

“Right.” Sam forced a smile. Roomie. That’s what he’d be to Steve, until Steve remembered him.

** _~_ **

Sam was staring so intently at the bathroom door that the sudden vibrations from his phone ringing nearly startled him right off the couch. He scrambled, grabbed it, then scowled when he saw Bucky's name on the screen. An hour ago, he’d texted Bucky and asked him not to contact Steve for a few days.

“Hey,” he hissed into the phone. “The hell you calling for? Did you forget how to text?”

“That’s an actual possibility with me,” Bucky deadpanned. “What’s going on? What’s the problem with calling?” A hint of worry crept into Bucky’s voice. “Is something wrong?”

“No,” Sam whispered quickly. “No, nothing’s wrong.”

“They why’re you  _ whispering?” _

Sam groaned as he leaned back against the couch. “Steve’s in the shower, and I don’t want him to hear me. He lost his memory. Don’t worry, it’s just some sort of temporary magic shit. He’ll be back to normal in a few days, max.”

“How much does he remember?” Bucky asked.

“He remembers saying goodbye before you went into cryo.”

“Shit, that’s over a year ago. Does he think he’s still Cap?”

“No, I filled him in,” Sam said. “He was good with it. Said he’d been thinking about it for a while, which we knew.”

“What about him being your boyfriend?”

Sam closed his eyes for a moment before he replied. “No.”

“That sucks,” Bucky said. “I’m sorry, Sam. That’s gotta be rough.”

“Yeah, well. Thanks.” Sam eyed the bathroom door again warily. “Look, you can’t call again. He still thinks you’re in cryo. Tony told him he’d only lost a few weeks.”

Bucky hummed. “I can’t tell whether that makes sense or not.”

“None of this makes sense,” Sam grumbled. “Anyway what’s done is done. Steve’s supposed to come out of it soon. Allegedly.”

“Allegedly?” Bucky sounded alarmed. 

Sam had hoped that coming home to their apartment would trigger some sort of recollection, but Steve had merely looked around and smiled pleasantly. Nat did an excellent job of de-coupling the space. There were no pictures of them that would indicate anything other than friendship. Sam’s stuff had been moved to the guest room, which he appreciated. He wouldn’t have wanted to sleep in their bed alone with Steve across the hall.

There was less than three weeks left until their one-year anniversary. Sam hoped that Steve would snap back to his old self by then.

“He’ll remember you,” Bucky said with a bravado that Sam wished he shared. “He loves you, Sam. Maybe you just gotta get, you know,  _ creative _ in jogging his memory. Have you tried--”

“Don’t even,” Sam interrupted as Bucky laughed. “I don’t want to hear your nasty suggestions.”

“Alright, alright,” Bucky conceded. “I won’t call again until you give me a heads up that everything’s back to normal. But, uh, you know where to find me. If you need me.”

Bucky and Sam didn’t really have the sort of relationship where they talked about their feelings, but Sam appreciated the gesture all the same. “Thanks. I’ll keep you posted.”

“Are we still on for Call of Duty on Thursday?”

“Damn right we are,” Sam said. “Kicking your ass will cheer me up if Steve’s not back.”

“Please,” Bucky scoffed. “I’ll kick  _ your _ ass, Wilson, and you know it.”

“Right,” Sam said listlessly. He straightened up as he heard the shower turn off. “Listen, I have to go.”

“Good luck,” Bucky said as they exchanged goodbyes and hung up. 

Sam arranged himself casually at one end of the couch and flipped on the television. Some sort of inane cartoon for college dudebros was on, but he didn’t pay attention. His ears were focused on the bathroom door, which eventually creaked open.

“Hey.” Steve poked his head out and smiled. “I saved you some hot water, if you want to shower.”

“Nah, I’m good.” Sam bit back his usual quip about how Steve always used up all of the hot water. It wouldn't be the same without Steve ribbing him back about how they should shower together more often to solve the problem.

There was a sharp knock at the door that nearly startled Sam off the couch yet again. Steve looked concerned as he leaned further out the door. “Are you okay?”

Sam tried not to stare at Steve’s bare chest, flushed from the heat of the shower. He was supposed to be Steve’s roommate, not a creeper. “Yeah, I, uh… just wasn’t expecting anyone.”

Steve’s brow furrowed. “Didn’t you order dinner before I got in the shower?”

“Oh, right.” Sam stood up from the couch and rubbed his eyes.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Steve’s voice was laced with concern.

Sam nodded and trudged towards the door. Steve popped back into the bathroom and closed the door. He tried not to think about Steve as he paid the delivery person and brought their food to the coffee table.

It was frustrating to see Steve so comfortable and relaxed. Not that Sam didn’t  _ want _ him to feel comfortable, of course. But it was a friendly sort of comfort, which they’d moved beyond nearly a year ago. Sam missed the innuendos and eyebrow wraggles, the soft glances and the neck kisses. He missed  _ his _ Steve. This “roomie” Steve was too familiar and too distant at the same time.

“Smells good,” Steve said as he came out of the bathroom, clad in grey sweatpants and a light blue t-shirt. He sat next to Sam and studied the bag intently. “Oh! You ordered from a new place.”

Sam bit back a smile. “Yeah, it’s new. Let me know what you think.” 

He’d actually ordered from Steve’s  _ favorite _ place. It had been the fifth Thai joint they’d tried, and Steve had fallen in love with it at first mouthful. It was sort of fun, to be able to see Steve’s reactions all over again, with the added knowledge that he was about to lose his culinary shit.

Steve carefully spooned some green curry over his rice, then took a bite. Sam tried not to smile too hard as Steve’s eyes went wide in surprise.

“Holy shit! This is amazing!” Steve shoveled another bite into his mouth. “It’s so  _ good, _ Sam, it’s the green curry of my dreams!”

Sam laughed and added some to his plate. “I guess this place is a keeper, huh?”

“Definitely!” Steve grinned and knocked his shoulder against Sam’s. “It’s my new favorite.”

Sam’s smile faltered. Steve’s grin shone brightly as he selected a satay stick next. Sam took a bite of his own curry, but the warm flavors carried a note of bitterness.

It wasn’t the same as the first time they’d ordered, not at all. The first time Steve had sampled the food from this place, he’d swooped in to make out a little with Sam in celebration of finding the perfect Thai food. Come to think of it, they hadn’t finished their first meal. Sam had been swept onto Steve’s lap, and the pad see ew had been knocked to the floor in the scuffle. Not that either of them gave a shit.

This time, Steve was still elated, but he stayed on his side of the couch. Sam smiled weakly as he pushed his food around on his plate. 

** _~_ **

Sam hovered in front of the apartment door. He hadn’t been home in two weeks, and he wasn’t in any particular rush to get back. The mission he’d been on with Rhodey had officially ended two days ago, but Sam had crashed in Rhodey’s guest room rather than returning to the Steve who still didn’t remember they were dating.

Steve and Sam’s one-year anniversary was tomorrow. After two weeks of daily texts with Steve, Sam had given up hope that Steve’s memory would return in time for them to celebrate. He’d intended to spend his anniversary on Rhodey’s couch, watching bad Netflix original movies and laying waste to the snack pantry, but Rhodey had vetoed that plan.

“You’ve gotta get home to your boy,” Rhodey had said as he’d elbowed Sam on the couch.

“He’s not my boy,” Sam had grumbled, “not anymore.”

Rhodey had rolled his eyes. “Yeah, he is. Always was, even before you two made it official.”

“Well, we’re  _ not _ official at this moment since he can’t remember, so pass the chips.”

Rhodey had snatched the bag of chips off the couch and hugged it to his chest. “No chips,” he had said firmly. “Go home, Sam. It’ll do you good. Trust me.”

Sam had obeyed, but he’d also complained a lot as he’d gathered his things.

And now he had to go sit in his living room and face his smiling boyfriend (who didn’t remember him that way) on the eve of their anniversary. Also, said smiling boyfriend would likely be clad in a too-tight shirt and Sam’s own soft sweatpants.

It was a cruel and unusual punishment.

Sam opened the door and slid quietly into the apartment. Steve was on the couch in the living room with a brooding look on his face as he stared at the television--which was turned off.

“Hey,” Sam said. “You okay?”

Steve turned to face Sam. “Oh! You’re back!”

“Yeah,” Sam said as he dropped his keys on the hook by the door. “Is that alright?”

“Of course,” Steve said. He gestured towards the seat next to him on the couch. “Do you have a minute to talk?”

Sam nodded wordlessly as he made his way over to the couch and sat down. “Are you  _ sure _ you’re okay?” The concern in his own voice was prominent. But then, Steve looked uncomfortable, with his elbows resting on his knees and his hands clasped together.

Steve shrugged. “I saw Wanda today.” His voice was nearly as grim as Sam felt. “She’s not sure why my memory isn’t back.”

“Well, you know how it is,” Sam hedged, “it’s magic, not science.”

“Maybe it won’t come back at all.”

“It  _ will.” _ Sam tried to keep his voice even. “It’ll come back, ba-- Steve. It  _ has _ to.”

He’d almost slipped up and called Steve  _ baby. _ This is exactly why he should have dug in his heels and refused to leave Rhodey’s couch. Sam couldn’t be trusted to keep his head right around Steve, not when it was hours until their anniversary. Especially not when, as predicted, Steve’s narrow hips had found their way into yet another pair of Sam’s sweatpants.

“Why?”

“Hmm?” Sam looked over at Steve. He was taken aback by the intensity of Steve’s stare.

“Why does my memory  _ have _ to come back?”

The best defense was a good offense, so Sam frowned in mock confusion. “What kind of question is that?”

Steve’s shoulders sagged, then squared up again. “Do I-- do I spend a lot of time out of the apartment?”

This time, Sam’s confusion was genuine. “Huh?

“Do I go off on my own a lot?” Steve asked. “Have I-- did I mention…”

Sam had no idea where this was going. He reached up to put his hand on Steve’s shoulder. “Hey. Look, why don’t you just tell me what’s on your mind? Whatever it is, we’ll work through it.”

Steve blinked. “Shit,” he muttered. 

This didn’t clarify things for Sam at all. “What’s going on?”

Steve turned his head slowly to look down at Sam’s hand. A wave of anxiety swept through Sam. Was he making Steve uncomfortable? He’d tried to treat Steve like a roommate, but it was so damn hard. 

They had been friends before they’d been anything else, even after Steve’s corny flirting when they’d first met.  _ This _ Steve might not have memories of being Sam’s boyfriend, but he was still Sam’s best friend. He still checked in with Sam about his missions, ragged on him,  _ cared _ about him. He still gave Sam that half-grin, the one that made Sam’s knees weak.

And Sam had tried (really he had) to focus on his friendly affection for Steve rather than the romantic part _ . _ Sam was a passable actor, but this was  _ Steve, _ and he had always been annoyingly perceptive, especially where Sam was concerned. Maybe he thought Sam was being creepy.

On the other hand, it wasn’t as though Steve had developed romantic feelings for Sam five minutes before their first kiss. Steve was impulsive in a lot of areas, but not in romance. This Steve might not remember asking Sam to date him, but surely he must still have those burgeoning feelings. Then again, maybe not. Maybe that was just wishful thinking on Sam’s part.

The back and forth in his brain was giving Sam a headache. He pulled away his hand away, but Steve quickly captured it in his own and laced their fingers together.

“Sam.” Steve drew a breath. “I… please don’t be mad but… I need to know.”

“You need to know what?” Sam kept his voice steady, even as his stomach flip-flopped.

Steve stared at him for a long moment, closed his eyes, and shook his head. “No,” he muttered under his breath. “No, that can’t be, I couldn’t have…”

Sam was very close to losing it. “What is it? Steve,  _ please, _ I’ll tell you whatever you want to know, I just-- mmph!”

Sam’s voice was muffled as Steve dove in and kissed him soundly. Sam’s eyes fluttered shut as he instinctively leaned into the press of Steve’s lips against his. One hand reached up to cup Steve’s face as the kiss deepened. 

Fuck it. Maybe Bucky had been right, maybe Steve just needed something sweet to jog his memory.

Steve sighed as their kissing became more heated. His hand drifted to Sam’s waist, tentatively at first, then more insistent. Sam grabbed the back of Steve’s neck to pull him in closer. This wasn’t his Steve, not exactly. This Steve didn’t slot against him as effortlessly as the Steve who’d had a year’s worth of kisses to practice with. But it was still  _ Steve, _ and this Steve wanted Sam. It wasn’t the same, but it was  _ something, _ and Sam was so starved that the crumbs he was scavenging tasted divine.

“Sam.”

Sam’s eyes flew open as he pulled back slightly. Somehow, he’d wound up straddled across Steve’s lap. Steve’s lips were red, parted as he breathed heavily. His hands moved from their grip on Sam’s hips to cup his ass with a gentle squeeze. 

“Sam, I… do you want--”

“Fuck, yes.” Sam wanted it. He didn’t give a shit about the consequences. It was hours until his anniversary with the man he loved, and he did not give one single fuck about anything else.

They wound up on the floor in a tangle of limbs, clothes discarded and flung haphazardly across the furniture. Steve lay against the hardwood, panting and gasping as his hips arched upwards to let their dicks slide against each other. He gripped Sam’s ass again, fingers digging into the muscle as he thrust up for more friction.

Sam used one hand to support himself, while the other reached down to wrap around their dicks, slick with precome. He jerked them off together, with his eyes locked onto Steve’s reverent gaze.

“Sam, I--” Steve’s voice choked off. His eyes never left Sam’s face.

Sam inhaled sharply as Steve’s fingers inched lower. He kept his hand steady against their dicks as Steve’s fingers traced the cleft of his ass. One finger brushed across his hole, then another pressed firmly against the soft skin behind his balls.

It was a slow crescendo of sensation as Steve worked his fingers against Sam. The pleasure built up every time he pressed back against Steve’s fingers, then forward against his dick. He’d been denied Steve’s touch for so long… 

This Steve might not have been  _ Sam’s _ Steve, but he was still doing a damn fine job of working Sam over. His lower lip trembled and his intense gaze bore into Sam’s face, but his fingers were sure and steady as they stroked against him, his hips thrust steadily against Sam’s own as their dicks slid together in rhythm.

Sam gasped as he came in spurts over his own hand. Steve didn’t stop moving his fingers until Sam was fully spent. The added slickness of his come allowed Sam to jerk Steve off with more vigor. As he climaxed, Steve gripped Sam’s ass tighter. His come trailed down Sam’s hand and merged into the sticky mess on Steve’s stomach.

“Sam,” Steve breathed after Sam collapsed against him, stickiness be damned. “Sam, that was… you are…”

Sam pressed his face against Steve’s shoulder, struggling to catch his breath. He didn’t dare voice a single word aloud. 

The only three words that were running through his brain were _ I love you, I love you, I love you. _

And those words weren’t meant for this Steve.

** _~_ **

Sam frowned as he sat up and blinked the sleep from his eyes. He was on the couch, with a mass of blankets tucked snugly around him. His clothes were folded in a neat pile on the floor. A glass of water was set on the side table. 

The apartment was silent, and there was no sign of Steve.

Shit.

Sam groaned as he rubbed one eye. He’d fucked up. Badly. After they’d fucked the first time, he’d allowed Steve to blow him, then Steve had jerked himself off until he’d come all over Sam’s stomach. And then later they’d fucked again, or maybe they’d just fallen asleep together on the floor mid-makeout. 

Sam had been so gone on the feel of Steve’s skin against his own that he hadn’t really thought about the consequences. He’d hoped that, somehow, their fucking would trigger Steve’s memory, but that hadn’t happened. Steve had seemed just as desperate for Sam as Sam had been for him, but he didn’t have any sort of revelation mid-bang.

This would be an anniversary for the ages.

“Good morning.”

Sam’s head jerked up in surprise. Steve stood next to the couch, clad in pajamas, arms folded across his chest. He looked nervous, and maybe a little guilty.

“‘Morning,” Sam replied slowly. “Thanks for, uh...” He gestured towards the clothes and the water.

“Right.” Steve ducked his head. “Um. About that. Can I-- can we talk?”

“We tried to talk last night.” Sam tried (unsuccessfully) to keep the sarcasm out of his voice.

A grin flashed briefly across Steve’s face, but his expression quickly turned somber once more. “I’m serious this time. There’s something I have to tell you.”

“Alright.” Sam sat up and pulled the blankets closer to make room for Steve to sit down. He supposed that he should have put on his drawers before they started their conversation. The thing was, he was too emotionally exhausted to care.

Steve cleared his throat and rested his elbows on his knees. Then he shook his head and leaned over to grab Sam’s hands. “Listen,” he started. “I know the memory thing isn’t theoretically permanent, but. What if I’d forgotten everything after the forties? Or even earlier? What if I’d lost my whole memory altogether?”

“That would have sucked,” Sam said, confused as to where Steve was going with this.

“It would have,” Steve agreed. “Especially if I had forgotten  _ you. _ Because, Sam, I can’t-- I know it wasn’t a brush with death, but-- I  _ love _ you, Sam. I want to be with you. I’ve been thinking about it for a while now, and I don’t want to lose my chance again.”

Sam tried to smile. Steve looked so hopeful. It was the least Sam could do to pretend like this was a surprise. “That’s sweet, Steve. I love you, too.” 

It felt hollow. Of course Sam and Steve loved each other, but Steve didn’t understand what he was confessing to, or what Sam meant when he said it back. He didn’t want this Steve’s love. He wanted  _ his _ Steve’s love. He wanted his life back, the life they’d built together over the past year.

Steve’s smile widened for a moment, then fell. “There’s one problem. I, um, I think I’ve been dating someone else. In secret.”

Sam’s eyes widened in faux surprise. “Oh? What makes you say that?” He supposed that Steve had found one of their old love notes hidden away in a drawer, or maybe one of the lewd stick figure doodles that Steve liked to tuck into Sam’s pockets.

“I asked Nat about it,” Steve said, his face creased with worry, “and she refused to tell me anything, but I know she was hiding something. And you’ve been acting odd and staying away and maybe you thought… but Sam, I love you, I always have. I can’t imagine wanting to spend my life with  _ anyone _ but you!”

Steve's distress was obvious, and Sam squeezed his hands. “Whoa, slow down there. You love me, okay, but spending our lives together is kind of a jump, isn’t it?”

“You’d think so!” Steve said. “But I found this hidden in one of my hiking boots.”

He released one of Sam’s hands and shoved it in his back pocket. He pulled his hand out of his pocket and held it out to Sam. A ring sat in his palm, platinum studded with a row of garnet stones.

Sam’s jaw dropped.

“I don’t know what it means,” Steve said in a rush. “Who would I want to propose to? Maybe it’s another spell from Loki? What other explanation is there? I haven’t had any mystery partners come around that I would have met after I lost my memory, and even if they did, a few weeks isn’t enough time to want to propose to someone. That would be ridiculous.”

“You want to propose to me?” Sam didn’t bother to stop his voice from shaking.

“Of course not,” Steve said, then made a face. “I mean, one day, yes, but we’ve only just… it’s not the time! I can’t think of--”

“You wanna marry me?” Tears welled up in Sam’s eyes. “Steve, you dumbass. You wanna  _ marry _ me. And you’re asking on our  _ anniversary? _ You corny little shit!”

“What?” Steve’s eyes widened.

Sam let out a sob as he threw himself at Steve, pressing kisses to every square inch of skin that he could reach. Steve let out a surprised squeak, but responded eagerly as Sam pressed him back against the couch.

“I love you,” he murmured against Steve’s lips. “I love you  _ so _ much. That’s part of what you forgot. I’m sorry, we fucked up, keeping it from you, but baby, you and I, we’ve been together for a while now, and--”

_ “Oh,”  _ Steve cried. “Oh, Sam, I…” He kissed Sam fiercely and pulled him closer. “I knew it,” he whispered between kisses. “I knew there was something, I… Sam? Sam!”

Sam sat up as Steve shook his head wildly and pressed a hand to his temple. Steve’s eyes squeezed shut and he winced as though he had a headache.

“Steve? Are you okay? What’s happening?”

Steve blinked a few times, then grinned widely. “Sam! Sam, I... “ He grabbed Sam’s waist and hugged him tightly. “Happy anniversary, baby. I love you so much.”

“What the…” Sam frowned and pulled back slightly. “Happy anniversary? Does that mean… Please tell me that you remember us being together,  _ please, _ I can’t--”

“I remember everything.” Steve pressed a gentle kiss to Sam’s cheek. “There’s no way I’d be able to forget you for long.” 

Sam let out a shuddering sigh against Steve’s neck. “You say that now,” he grumbled. “And yet you sure took your sweet ass time remembering.”

Steve laughed as he hugged Sam tighter against his chest. “But I  _ did _ remember eventually! Thanks to true love’s kiss.”

“True love’s kiss?” Sam wrinkled his nose. “We kissed plenty last night. In all sorts of places. And you didn’t remember shit then.”

“Don’t question kissing science,” Steve said with a grin. “Just accept the results.”

“ _ Right _ ,” Sam rolled his eyes. “ _ Totally _ scientific. You dork.”

“I might be a dork, but I’m your dork,” Steve said. “If-- if you’ll have me.”

Steve held up the ring again, with a nervous smile. Sam’s heart melted as Steve slid the silver band onto his finger and clasped their hands together.

“Yeah,” Sam murmured. “I got you, alright.”

“You do, you do.” A sly grin crept onto Steve’s face. His fingers slithered under the edge of the blanket at Sam’s waist. “You want some more of me? ‘Cuz I’m happy to give it to you.”

“Ugh.” Sam grimaced. “You’re nasty.”

“Yeah, but I’m  _ your _ kind of nasty,” Steve retorted. His fingers crept lower underneath the blanket.

Sam grinned and kissed the tip of Steve’s nose. “Yeah, you are. Forever.”

**Author's Note:**

> Bucky, after Sam tells him what happened: “You couldn't have done that earlier?”
> 
> Thanks for reading! Be sure to check out the SWBB collection, more creations will be added throughout the month.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [[Podfic of] You and Me, We're Indelible](https://archiveofourown.org/works/20691305) by [Lucifuge5](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lucifuge5/pseuds/Lucifuge5)


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